COMMUNITY SENSE

WHY I STILL GO TO CHURCH

Mark R. Wenger

The latest Newsweek arrived in the mail today. As usual, the first thing I read, aside from the always breathless cover, was the "My Turn" column. This week a second-year cadet at West Point writes about "My March into the Military Academy." The week before, in "Celebrating the Pity of Brotherly Love," someone from Iowa wrote tongue-in-cheek about how his older brothers tortured him as a child. The writers of "My Turn" are an eclectic bunch, rarely folks with names I recognize. The topics are unpredictable and distinctly personal.

In something of the same vein, I’d like to share some of the reasons I still go to church—an activity, from what I read, that fewer of my neighbors engage in today compared to 20 years ago. For me, it is almost automatic. Sunday morning rolls around; my wife, daughter, and I get in the car for the drive to church. Why do I do it when I could spend more time reading the Sunday newspaper, sleeping in, mowing the grass, or taking off on a bike ride?

The easy answer would be that it’s a habit ingrained from infancy. After all, I grew up in a missionary family. Back in the States, our family gave so many church programs that we finally rebelled; Dad offered to pay us for the programs he’d already booked. There’s no denying it, going to church is a habit.

Still, there were a number of years in college during which I reveled in the luxury of unscheduled Sunday mornings beholden to no one but my own whims. At a certain point, however, I somehow sensed a need to start attending again. Perhaps it was guilt, but I don’t think so. Something else drew me back, something subtle and essential, something I was missing.

I was majoring in Bible and church history at the time, but I was quite sure that I didn’t want to be a pastor. Pastors were a different breed. Maybe I could teach theology or Bible. You don’t have to be quite as "holy" or immersed in the faith if you teach, or so I thought.

Teaching jobs were hard to find, and I got a phone call inviting me to become an assistant pastor. That was 22 years ago. Since then I’ve spent most of my life as a pastor in two congregations. These days, however, Sunday is no longer a "game day" I need to gear up for. I am not a pastor anymore. Let me tell you, it’s much more relaxing. I can arrive at the last minute. There’s nothing I have to prepare. I’ve become an average church member, a participant rather than a leader, a consumer more than a producer. Still I go to church. Every Sunday. Why?

To be sure, there are professional reasons. I’m now in the business of training pastors. How long would I last in my job if word got out that I didn’t go to church? Nevertheless, I don’t go to church as a concession to my employment situation. I go because I want to. Here are some of my reasons.

These Are People I Trust

I sometimes wonder whether I am an oddball, but people I’ve known at church have caused me few deeply painful and no personally devastating experiences. Yes, I’ve been lied to, cursed out, and had my confidence betrayed. I’ve seen church hypocrisy and listened to facile explanations of silly and wrongful behavior. But those are the exceptions. Besides, I don’t know of a better track record anywhere else in human affairs.

Among church folk, I have found people who generally seek to do the right things and for whom integrity of character has value. These are people who are often generous with money and time, easy with laughter, involved in their communities, committed to their spouses and children, and sometimes courageous and sacrificial. Ron Sider has written The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience (Baker Books, 2005), in which he scolds many in the church for living no better than society in general when it comes to racism, generosity, sexual promiscuity, divorce, and abuse. Sider pronounces a solid prophetic word. But it doesn’t match very well what I know of the congregations I’ve been part of.

Church Is Where Families Are Formed and Protected

Growing up, developing identity, finding a spouse, staying married and raising children, getting old is a gauntlet none of us comes equipped to navigate safely on our own. I needed help. We all need help.

But many of the settings and activities that built personal face-to-face community in the past are harder to find. We change jobs and addresses all the time. Our housing often fosters anonymity or isolation. I doubt either online communities like Facebook or members of the helping professions will ever replace the rich authenticity available only by literally rubbing shoulders with the same people over the years.

Think about it. Where else but church do all the generations from newborn infants to tottering grandparents regularly see each other, talk to each other, and do something together? There are John and Hazel being honored at the birth of their first child. There’s Mary, an elderly single woman who talks with the youth and supports their service projects. When death occurs, young children learn about what’s important in life.

Church Is Where I Sing and Make Music with Others

Let me put it straight: One key reason I keep going to church is because of the music. Yes, church people fight a lot about music. I’ve been in my share of vigorous discussions. Still, when music is competently led and performed for the good of the whole group, regardless of the style, something beautiful, even miraculous occurs. I am often lifted and moved when I can add my voice to others in melody, word, rhythm, harmony, and instruments. These elements combined in the right way transform a group of individuals into a vibrant body.

Church Is Where I Can Often Experience God Among People

The splendor of creation is a kind of Scripture to me. Personal meditation and prayer are often pleasant work. These and other similar activities can be rich with the presence of God. But like a log pulled out of the fireplace, experiencing God all by myself soon loses the flame. I am strengthened and challenged in my faith by others with whom I worship. I am strangely lifted beyond my fears, obsessions, and opinions.

Some people believe in God; it’s just other people they can’t stand. Like the bumper sticker Fred Craddock saw on the pick-up truck in front of him. "I love my wife and I love Jesus. The rest of you can go to h—-." Being the church with other people is messy and sometimes requires lots of faith and endurance.

Still, going to church fills out the colors of God’s rainbow for me. I experience divine mystery, truth, and love in hues I’d otherwise be blind to.

So there are a few reasons why I still go to church. Might something happen to turn me off and turn me away? It’s hard to imagine, but yes I suppose it’s possible. Lots of folks have quit.

Still I keep going to church. I keep going because there would be a hole in my life and soul if I walked away.

—Mark R. Wenger, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, is Director of Pastoral Studies for Eastern Mennonite Seminary at Lancaster.